On a flight from LA to NY, a blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other. The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a fun game.

The blonde, tired and wanting to nap, politely declines and turns to the window to rest.

The lawyer, persistent, explains that the game is simple and enjoyable.

He says, “I’ll ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $500.00.”

Intrigued by the offer and wanting to end the disturbance, the blonde agrees.

The lawyer starts, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands him $5.00, and tries to sleep again.

“Your turn,” says the lawyer.

The blonde asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

Puzzled, the lawyer takes out his laptop, searches all his references, and even uses the plane’s Wi-Fi to scour the internet and email friends. After an hour, he still has no answer.

Finally, he wakes the blonde, hands her $500.00, and she turns back to sleep.

Feeling frustrated, the lawyer wakes her again and asks, “So, what’s the answer?”

Without saying a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands him $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A group of Sydney bikers were riding west when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge.

So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, got off his Harley, walked through a group of gawkers, past the police officer who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and said:

“Hey Baby, whatcha doin’ up there on that railing?”

She said tearfully, “I’m going to jump.”

While he didn’t want to appear ‘sensitive,’ George didn’t want to miss this ‘be-a-legend’ opportunity either, so he asked, “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe… why don’t you give ol’ George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that.

It was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another, even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George got a big thumbs-up approval from his biker buddies, the onlookers, and even the police officer.

“Wow!” said George, “That was the best kiss I have ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you gonna jump?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

An elderly couple had just settled into bed when the old man realized he had left the lights on in the greenhouse out back.

Then they heard voices.

Three men had broken into the greenhouse.

Frightened, they called the police.

The dispatcher said he would send an officer as soon as one was available since all units were currently on other calls.

After a few minutes, the old man called Dispatch again.

He said, “Don’t worry about sending an officer. I shot the intruders, and now the dogs are eating their bodies!”

In no time at all, the police were everywhere and caught the robbers in the act!

One of the officers asked the old man, “I thought you said you shot the robbers and your dogs were eating them.”

The old man replied, “And I thought you said there were no officers available.”